. . . .~~Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood)

So it's getting a bit stressful at work.  I'm down to my last week and a half.  My best friend from work has been transfered into one of the departments.  A former coworker has transfered back to my store from the Altoona store which has put half the staff on edge because no one likes her.  They are trying to implement the new daytime receiving routine before the go live date of March 9th but the entire evening staff hasn't shown up for work, which means there is merchandise all over the floor waiting for someone to put it away.  Then the scheduler calls me and asks when is my last day of work?  I go to her office and tell her, "Hello???  THIS company has told ME I no longer have a position and you are asking ME when MY last day is??" 

Last week I was in the vacuum aisle doing price changes and checking inventory tags.  I needed a tall ladder which was located at the opposite side of the building.  I bring back the ladder and check some of the tags.  I get down to the end of the vacuums and notice that the $500 vacuum is no longer on the shelf, where it just was 10 minutes ago when I changed its price.  Since this is a high theft item, I immediately go to the service desk and ask the manager if anyone has bought the $500 vacuum.  She says, "Bought??  NO!!  But some scum bag just walked out the door with it while the alarm was blaring and I was screaming, 'Sir, can I see your receipt?'  I got out to the parking lot just in time to see him driving away in a dark color Dodge Stratus."  We stand there calling the scum a Muther F*¢%er, then go to the office to file a report.

This store has purchased new carts and new ladders.  They've spent thousands on wood, paint, and labor to "freshen up" the racking.  They waste more money in a month that would have kept my business afloat for a year (when I had one).  They let $500 vacuums and other merchandise "walk" out the door daily without attempting to hold these thieves accountable.  But, they can't afford to keep their decent workers.

Fast forward to today.  I'm doing price changes on vacuums, AGAIN!  There are several people looking at merchandise in the aisle.  I ask them if anyone needs help and they all decline.  I move to the end of the aisle to change the prices on throw rugs and notice the young woman lingering by the vacuums.  Then a young man walks up to her wearing a "hoodie" with the hood up, inside the building, talking on a cell phone.  He says something to her then walks down to the other end of the building.  I just let my machine print price tags and watch the young woman.

She eventually comes down to the end of the aisle and asks if we have any of those non-electric sweepers that restaurants use.  She mentions that she found one at a different store but they wanted over a hundred dollars for it and she wasn't willing to spend that kind of money on a sweeper.  I direct her to the cleaning aisle cautioning her that we don't have them but she might find something more to her liking in that aisle.

I finish changing the tags on the rugs and notice my last tag is for an item at the front of the store.  As I turn to go up the aisle the young woman is back looking at the vacuums.  I decide to go up the next aisle and cut back to observe what she is doing.  As I'm walking in front of the vacuum aisle I notice a co-worker loading a $500 vacuum into the young woman's cart. 

I run up to the service desk and tell the manager we need employees at every door.  Something isn't right. I describe the young woman and her "hoodie" companion.  The manager becomes upset that I'm describing the man who "walked" out of the store the week before.  By now she has alerted all the cashiers and a couple of department managers who start to follow the young woman around the store.

I station myself just inside the door that the thieves used the week before.  I straighten merchandise and watch the young woman walk across the front of the store away from me.  Just then Mr. "hoodie" starts walking toward me and out the door.  I follow him out with one of the vendors.  The vendor is going to his car and will get Mr. "hoodie's" license plate number.  Mr "hoodie" gets into a dark Dodge Stratus.  I go back inside the door and take up my position.  A few minutes later Miss vacuum turns the corner and heads my way. 

"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?'  Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.  But being as this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question:  Do I feel lucky? . . . .Well, do ya punk?" ~~Dirty Harry (Clint  Eastwood)

Ok, I didn't have a .44 magnum, which is probably a good thing.  You would be hearing about shoot outs between thieves and pissed off Behemoth Building Supply employees A LOT MORE if their weren't laws prohibiting concealed weapons.

Now I WAS packing a 36" snow brush that had a bunch of pointy things on the end and I WASN'T AFRAID TO USE IT.  I moved to the middle of the doorway while Miss vacuum headed straight for me with six orange aproned coworkers right on her tail.  I felt like yelling, "Go ahead, bitch, make my day!"  But at the last minute she turned the cart and headed down to the last register.  It's a good thing too.  I hate having to intimidate people with my 5'5" 135lb. bulk, but the bitch pushed me.  She had it coming.

Turns out she went down to the last register, purchased a bottle of water, then tried to nonchalantly pull the cart behind her out the doors.  The other Kathy (we have 5) grabbed the cart and said, "you can NOT take that cart past the registers without paying for it."  Miss vacuum tried to argue that her boyfriend, who was waiting outside in the car, had already paid for it.  Kathy just told her, "Well then you can just go out to the car, get the receipt, AND PROVE IT!!!" 

God!  I miss out on all the fun! 

tags: dirty harry  work  shoplifting  thieves  scum bags  stress  vacuums  inventory  money  loss  

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