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Climbing The Ladder Of Success
I got mad after they handed me the description of the new position. It was everything we do now but done by two people instead of four. I went into HR Dude's office and told him I didn't want to interview for the "new" position. I also told him that I wasn't interested in any other position in the store if it had wacky hours, 7 days a week, and I certainly wouldn't settle for part-time. Then someone mentioned about the turning down work and I withdrew the whole conversation. HR dude said, "What conversation?"
The four of us signed up for the interview. The acting store manager interviewed us at the end of the week, then told us Monday what positions we "won". The two new girls got the positions. They gave the other girl a position in one of the departments with wacky hours, 7 days a week. They told me they didn't have a position for me. I think they gave me what I wanted. The other girl was jealous, she wanted the trip to unemployment.
Yesterday one of my friends handed me an internal Memo that let everyone know they were laying off 500 more people from the store support center. They rationalized it as making the whole operation more efficient given the downturn in the building trades. We were wondering if any of the 6 figure earners would get lay offs? That's just silly. What were we thinking? It's only the little people at the bottom, the ones who take care of the customers, that are expendable. The people at the top are much too important to lose their jobs or their mega salaries.
Well I finally finish updating my resumè. I'm posting it here in case you have any helpful suggestions, or job opportunities.
Objectives: To obtain a corporate position with maximum compensation, benefits, and bonuses, while expending a minimum amount of time, and effort.- sharpened my manipulating skills to sell customers unneeded products at high profit margins
- distinguished myself among my peers by claiming their achievements
- brown nosed bankers into financial support
- developed an appreciation for having my ass kissed
- purchased expensive cutlery for both cooking and backstabbing future competition
- learned how to use power tools as well as take power trips
- became the boss by being bossy
- let everyone know who was the boss by crowing my title at every opportunity
- snooped around customer's houses to develop an appreciation for the finer things in life
- probed employee's personal lives to assess loyalty
Darn, I was disappointed you didn't say anything about the health food
store experience!
LMAO! I love the suit. It has a beautiful drape. I can't help but notice
that you have a great ass too. I mean, somebody was going to mention it
sooner or later. Seriously, Catty, it sounds to me like the HR guy too good
care of you. Congratulations. So, what's next??
Love the 'presentation'!! The schmucks! Send them your new application.
Any HR person who knew what the heck they were doing would tell you that
your goals are achievable. At their company. Especially the one about
"transforming yourself into a real life princess." What an asset you'd be
to any corporate entity.
I love it! You seem well qualified for a golden parachute position.
6-figure earners laid off? Don't be silly - I expect that when top
executives' bonuses are calculated it'll turn out that actually the
business is doing really, really well, so they deserve even bigger bonuses
than last year. Honest.
What do those big corporate types do to earn the money and benefits, not to
mention the Golden Parachutes they receive? You deserve such a job, Catty.
The picture in your resume would get you a few interviews in New York. ;]
Speaking of those at the top being let go. Although the operation suffers
when those at the bottom of the trap line get let go the same is not true
when middle and upper people are let go. Most of the time their absence
(the upper crust) is hardly noticed.
Laughing sooooooooooo! You ought to take a chance and send this to
someone. Back in the 60's my ex-mother-in-law wrote out a letter for a job
on a napkin one day while out with friends for lunch. She got the
management postion in a classy department store!
JWL, you're right except for the part that the companies miss those big
stacks of money the execs take with them when they leave. Catty, seriously,
you're leaving a troubled org that's genuinely suffering from 1) a truly
bad CEO (long gone with big bags of $$$) and 2) a real, live housing market
crash. This is boom town and home building down here has stopped.
Developers, grading companies and haulers are going out of business at an
astonishing rate. This is a perfect time for a change of direction. People
always gotta eat?
My God Woman! Sophmom is right. You have one fine ass!!
Another vote on a great ass. But those heels have to go.
Spargy--What bad working habits did I pick up at Healthy Food Heaven???
Sure I deluded myself into thinking a whole loaf of freshly baked bread
with a pound of organic butter was a healthy breakfast, but I couldn't
translate hoarding and gluttony into the job search.